Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Hey guys I'm back on the blog.

Sorry for no recent updates. How are ya'll doing? I'm doing good now that I have winter break. School is out the way which means stress is out the way, which really helps with my symptoms. You guys should eliminate stress, regulate sleeping habits, and regulate eating habits, even if your not schizophrenic!

I'm doing really good which means not a whole lot to say.

But I like to take this time to learn more about my followers. So what's up guys? I know all your names, but where are you guys from? How old are you guys? What attracts you to my blog? Do you have loved ones with schizophrenia and how are they doing with it? Tell me about yourself! Hobbies, interests, etc?

As for me, my name is John. I just turned 18. I've developed symptoms since 15 or 16, and they've been getting strong since mid-late 17. I'm from California, USA. My real dad which I have no contact with might have schizophrenia or something with delusional disorder, which is probably why I have it. My interests are the typical for those my age, which is just hanging out with my friends to eat or smoke or drink, a whole big interest in music, literature, and history, sports (though I don't regularly anymore), gaming on the computer and sports gaming on consoles, socializing, meeting new people, and philosophizing, a big hobby of mine. What about you guys?

Tell me about yourself!


  1. Hi John,
    its Maria the social worker from Greece again. Im writing to thank you for replying to me as fast as you did and for giving me the permission to use parts of your posts in our Greek blog.
    We haven't started it yet but as soon as we do I'm going to send you the link to have a look at it, though it is all going to be in Greek so I guess you wont understand much!
    And of course, in case we use some parts of your blog we are going to mention you and refer to the link of your blog.
    I wish you all the best.
    Keep strong!

  2. Hey John!

    So glad to hear that you are doing so well. Keep doing what you are doing & just remember that we are all fighting our own battles in some sort of way.

    I am 21 and live in Kansas, USA. I do not know anyone with schizophrenia but I recently became interested when I learned about abnormal disorders in my class at my University. Would love to know more & possibly study it...my major right now is Spanish. Not sure what else to say besides I am happy to follow your blog!

    Why were you up so late writing this blog post?!? haha Can't say that I blame you though..I'm a night owl :) Happy Tuesday!
    - Ally

  3. Ellou again ~.. As for what's up, I believe the ceiling. Past that the sky, and perhaps some trees, or clouds. And beyond that, one begins to question the logic of "directions".
    I'm just a tad sensitive about my age, I find many judge wrongly due to it. Don't see any point in not saying though, so, I turned 14 in November.
    Scare is my name here, and some places I am Skye. The name based off my real one is Alex. I don't find that I am -from- anywhere, besides perhaps some other reality. I feel as if I switch too often.. Technically, as far as I know I was born in California. I am currently somewhere in Virginia.
    I am drawn to your blog because I am drawn to you. You interest me, I feel as if in some ways, I can connect with you. I enjoy that - for both of our sake.
    I don't -think- I have family with full-blown schizophrenia, but my family on mom's side is known to be rather paranoid about things. Not sure where half of my stuff came from, to be honest. Not heard of anyone in my family hallucinating, much.
    As for hobbies, I enjoy drawing, and writing (occasionally). I also very much enjoy gaming. Skyrim and Minecraft have been my main focus lately. I am very interested in mental disorders and such, and in general, the way the human mind works. For a while I've felt an understanding for most of it.
    I think I'm going to learn German in school for my language classes, also. I'm honestly considering going into psychology as a profession, though I fear I might mess people up more rather than help much, hehe..
    Also, being treated as mentally inferior makes me want to strangle the person who treats me as such. Which brings me to say, a friend of mine once told me I have a strangling problem. xD

  4. I saw a link to your blog on a youtube comment. My name is Chris and I'm 21 from nyc. I would really like a chance to hear other people's views on schizophrenia and possibly connect with other schizophrenics. I recently realized that an acquaintance of mine has it, and I've found a lot of power in sharing with him, so i thought it might be worthwhile to share on here too.

    I dont think about my schizophrenia every day. Its something ive been avoiding for some time. I hear a voice or see something and it scares me. and I push it out of my head and go to school. I'm a psychology student (interested in trauma). I spend time making connections with people, writing, and playing my ukulele. I think these things can be very therapeutic. I've also found that meditation helps me through some of my 'positive symptoms'. and so I'm working to deal with my schizophrenia that way instead of taking meds.

  5. Hello!

    I struggled all of my life with family (some of my friends were saying the I am lazy, some that I am abnormal, sometimes that I am reaaally weiird).

    Well, I got a major depression for a few years, that evolved into a psychotic episode with hallucinations and fear. I also remarked that my belly is really bloated and my gut transit was slow, like it never was before.

    In the depressive phase I also was anorexic and catatonic. I just knew there must be something related to gluten and psychotic disorders. Symptoms improved a lot after a GF diet - just 3 days. Glutamine and gama-tocopherol + sesame helped a lot.

    So the next few months I started to read a lot about celiac disease and realized step by stept that my life -long laziness was due to undiagnosed celiac disease.
    I feel totally different now.
    I mention that I am 35 years old. Just after the psychotic episode, I paid a visit to psychiatrist. He asked me: "Why did you came here, if you don't want drug therapy ?"
    I just wanted a diagnose and psychoterapy... So a I stepped out from that place.

    See the blog and the source link of every article.

    Also, don't forget to watch the entire doc
    Is There Life Before Death - András Feldmár
    Of course, your genetic life long disease, could be due to Toxoplasmosis, there is plenty of research about this issue.

    All the best !

    acute episode of schizophrenia myself

  6. Hey,
    I'm Anonymous1 from your last post. I found your blog by Googling (or it may have been Yahoo search) the word schizophrenia.

    I'm 51, way older than most of you, I guess. I've had really bad episodes, but with no treatment. I did get some councelling, but I only went for three sessions. I decided that it wasn't worth my time talking about things I've known all my life and really don't care about anyway.

    My symptoms just amount to playing a constant game of word association with myself and imaginary hecklers. I gave up reading too much because it always ends up that I associate with certain words and my mind gets triggered into associating with those words and imagining conversations or replaying real conversations that I've had before.

    The weird thing is, is that I know what those words mean to me personally, and the conversations I imagine are hecklers (relatives and ex-friends) demanding that I change my associations with those words into something that doesn't involve them or their past relations with me. It goes so far as that they demand "new" associations and I always say that I'd rather keep my old ones than accept their "rewrite." And then they end up cursing me with some punishment.

    Anyway, I started reading your blog because I was interested in what your day to day life is like. Everything I've read on the web about schizophrenia is just a lot of definitions of, causes of, etc. Your blog is different.

    Enjoy your holiday off from school. What kind of classes do you take anyway?

  7. Social worker,

    Hello. You're welcome! Yeah, I probably won't understand it at all haha. Thank you for doing as I wish and for asking permission. Thank you!

  8. Hey Ally,

    Thanks, I will keep strong. Oh I see, that's interesting. Major in Spanish is interesting as well! Are you American/White?

    Haha I stay up late sometimes I love late nights and early mornings! Best goes to you too, have fun!


  9. Scare,

    Lmao @ what's up. Oh, maybe because you're mature for your age. Do you think you are too young?
    Oh I see, well Hi Skye, Hi Alex, and Hi Scare. Oh I see, I'm *from* California too.
    Scare is my name here, and some places I am Skye.
    Oh wow thank you, that means a lot. That gave me a confidence boost!
    Oh I see, paranoia can be from anything or other diseases or just experiences though, so who knows!
    Drawing and writing is fun, but it's a hard skill to master! Writing poetry or hip-hop is easier than a book, but drawing is hard! I LOVE Skyrim! I just got off playing that. I used to play Minecraft A LOT. Fellow gamer! What's your steam name? I am very interested in mental disorders and psychology as well! You should do psychology if it interests you, and I hear German is interesting as well. Haha, controlling people is why psychology is fun! Well, not controlling, but you know. Haha, well best wishes to you! Reply me with your steam ID!

  10. I'll reply to the rest of you three in a bit! I gotta run an errand!

  11. Heh; I don't really have a steam, though I suppose I could make one. =P

  12. Chris,

    Hello. You came to the perfect place. Sorry for him, I hope he can battle it out. Tell him I send him by best regards and wishes.
    I used to do the same pushing out my symptoms and not wanting to think I had it. Yeah, I feel you, some meds work for some people.
    Whatever you gotta do.
    Much love.

  13. Hey alergic,

    I see, They say I am lazy and weird too. That's why I made this blog so we can connect. I also had major depression for a while.

    Dang, that is a struggle. I'm glad you were able to fight it and try to make it though.

    Thanks for the information, I'm reading on Toxoplasmosis right now.

    Much love

  14. Hey Anonymous1,

    Glad you found my blog. And I see.. Yeah, Therapy can be annoying. That's why I left to.

    I get a very similar thing to you but not as intense. I believe mine feels like the beginning of what you go through.

    Thank you for reading. Im happy I can give you some source of entertainment.

    And thanks! Hope you enjoy your holidays. I'm taking AP Psychology, AP English, AP Government and Macroeconomics, Algebra 2.

  15. Hey John
    I found your blog really fascinating!
    Ive just turned 18, and im from England, Near london
    Im studying Schizophrenia in Psychology, and stumbled accross your blog, its very informative!
    you're very brave x

  16. Came across your blog on YouTube, thought I'd stop by and see if it was "real" which I'm glad it was. Part of me was afraid it was just getting people to go to it and get a virus! lol (sometimes being a paranoid schizophrenic helps keeping me out of trouble.)

    I'm Christopher from Michigan. I'm thirty years old, and have been dealing with schizophrenia since I was a baby. I ended up having my break when I was eighteen, ended up in a hospital, and then things just got worse. It's been a very long time trying to deal with it on my own (moving around a lot in my life had me deal with a lot of psychs that had no clue about the disease and would just try to put me back in the hospital). I've done a lot of research myself and have been able to treat the problems on my own. I still "shift" frequently, but can deal with it pretty well.

    I love music (hoping to record an album sometime in the next year), history (especially the American Civil War), I'm also a Steampunk (which has really helped me get out and meet people/make friends), racing (especially WRC and Touring), and anything classic cars (going to be building a 1933 Ford street rod in the next few months).

  17. Hi all
    my name is Carl and i am 19 years old. My interests are: lucid dreaming, gaming, learning how the mind works, drawing and spiritual, philosophical stuff. I have shizophrenia more than 100 days now and i using my methods to fight against it. :)

  18. hello, my name is stephen and im 13 years old. im a bit young but ever since i was six i have suffered from schizophrenia symptoms(i hallucinate daily, usually by hearing a voice telling me to hurt or kill someone/myself and i often think people are trying to kill me or poison me and i think people can read my mind and are stealing my thoughts and sending them to people around the wolrd to track me and see if i know about their plot against me) and bipolar like symptoms(two thirds of the time im suicidally depressed and two thirds of the time im extremely angry(to the point i want to kill everyone around me) or(more rarely) happy with one third of the time being only depressed, one third being only angry/happy and one third of the time being both). also since i was eight i have had agoraphobia(the fear of public places. i always feel like i cant escpape and if some of my symptoms start playing up i will be surrounded by people trying to help but just making it worse!) symptoms of genreal anxiety disorder(im always worrying about something no matter how little things i have to worry about and it stops me from concentrating on other things properly which really affects my life) and symptoms of panic disorder(this might just be symptoms of general anxiety disorder though, im not sure but i do have panic attacks that are extreme for about half an hour and takie several hours and sometimes days for me to recover from over small things. i once had a panic attack about brushing my teeth) and i found this blog from a post you made on a youtube video. since i have schizophrenia symptoms i decided to go here and take a look, maybe give my two cents about something.

  19. Hello. I am the youngest of all of you. I am twelve. Also, my name is Fiona and I am from Austin, Texas. If you went there and tried to find me, I would be nowhere, because for the past six months I have been trapped inside my house because of an illness of which was left all of my doctors bemused. I have never been 'diagnosed' with schizophrenia, but that's mostly because they don't like diagnosing 'children'. I am usually an optimistic person, but lately that has seized because of my realizing: since my 'unclassified' illness is getting worse and worse to the point where somedays I just have to curl up and cry myself to sleep, it could potentially take my life in the near future. I don't know about you, but that sure makes me a little less optimistic. Also, my voices that I've had since I was six have been acting up again. They usually tell me to kill myself or others in anyway possible. I also have hallucinations at night that move around and make noises. Since I can move around when they happen, and I also have short term memory loss, so it can't be that I'm just having a dream where I have somehow memorized every little detail in my bedroom, I have self diagnosed myself. Yes, that seems to be something that shouldn't be done, but when you have voices and hallucinations, coupled up with extreme paranoia, massive panic attacks, my ticks (like having to whisper things under my breath or having to grab twos or threes of things at the buffet), and strange theories about the world that are in no way true; you start realizing things. I'm pretty sure I've never had depression, I've never cut myself, I eat like any other healthy twelve year old would, I am a little bigger in the belly area, but hey, stomach fat jiggles awesomely, did you know that? I have no problem with my weight, height(I'm abnormally tall), my shoe size(I have to wear size THIRTEEN in womens!), I'm fine with my friend who is a sexually active bisexual, I love my parents and we rarely fight, and I have two awesome little brothers. I have many fears. I am afraid of blood, needles, heights, wasps, and silverfish. All of them because of trauma as a toddler. Other than I that I am one of the most fearless people I know. I mean, for god's sake I have a pet racoon, two pet possums, and an enormous horse which has already sent me flying twice. I love snakes, bees, spiders, pretty much anything that normally scares people. Um, I think that's all I have to say. Oh yeah, one last thing. Hello Ally, Scare, John, Christopher, all you Anonymouses, Carl, Alergic, Chris, and the Owner of this blog. :D *hugs for everyone!*