Saturday, November 26, 2011

Hey Everyone - Third Post

I'll start off saying Happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday everyone! Hope you all had a good one!

I want to say something to get some things off my mind, and perhaps ask you guys a question.
I'm not sure if fellow schizophrenics can feel the same as me, but it's very hard to concentrate. I get these racing thoughts, whether they be paranoid delusions or not, and its very hard to focus on school work. I can't find a remedy for this besides smoking cigarettes, which is a remedy for a lot of my schizophrenic symptoms. Sadly I've fallen into addiction. It's very hard to quit, and when I do quit, my symptoms cannot be handled as well despite the medicine I am taking. I try to read a book for class but I am thinking about a hundred things at once, it is very hard for me to focus in school right now.

I was once a smart and academic student. I've taken some AP classes and usually passed years with B's and A's. Now I have a few F's and I am truant for attendance. I'm on the verge of dropping my harder classes. I just want to ask you guys, what do you guys do to focus on something? How do you guys focus on a task you guys do not want to do? I'd rather not google this because I want experience from real people, especially people who suffer from the same or similar diseases as me.

Man, writing this out really did take some stress away to be honest. It's marvelous how writing can help someone out. I would recommend you all to start a blog, but obviously most of you do have a blog already. If not, try it out. It REALLY gets things off your mind which helps you handle stress and anxiety (something I have a lot of).
But that's all for now, I have a busy day with a lot of schoolwork. Thanks for reading this and thanks for any recommendations you guys have. I'll be on my way now, everyone have a good Saturday!


  1. Hey I read about your blog on youtube a couple of minutes ago and thought I'd be willing to talk and all. Well first off, my names Nick, and I live in South Korea. haha didn't expect someone from korea to write here eh? lol. Ok, first off, I do not have schizophrenia, so I had to read about them a few times to get some basic over view of what it was and what the effects are. I'll tell you what helped me to focus. For me, when I have some time, I usually go out jogging or running outside for maybe 10 to 20 minutes. Believe me, you have no idea how refreshed you become after that. Sometimes, I choose a specific amount of time to web surf, like just looking things up on google, and maybe facebooking. To be honest, I used to have bipolar disease, and my battle went on for about three years. I really wanted to just quit everything, and trust me, I wanted to die. I felt like there was no hope, and no medication worked. I was really depressed one time then really happy, which were some of the symptoms of bipolar disorder. Another thing, which I think MIGHT have in common with schizophrenia is that I couldn't focus. When I tried, I had a million other thoughts at the same time. I just wanted to tell you there is hope, no matter how bleak it is. How can I say that? Cuz I have defeated this disorder, and I am having a great normal life. I'm in varsity basketball in my school, and I am very social. You can have my words on not giving up.

    Oh, back to helping you focus. Along with the suggestions I have given you, one last thing was just go out for some fresh air. Feel the wind, just listen to the things around you and relax. :] hope this helped some how John.

    I'll be visiting this site from time to time

  2. ps. :p I live in Korea so the time would be different haha thought you'd want to know.

    Proud of you bro, being a risk taker and really expressing yourself.

  3. Hi Nick.

    Thanks for talking to me. Haha, I didn't expect anyone from out of USA at all! How is Korea? I've been to Taiwan and Vietnam, very different weather! Hmm, I'll try the jog, thanks for the info. I see how it is Nick, I want to quit everything and die sometimes too. That is GREAT that you defeated your disease.I am very proud of you. Hopefully I can do the same. I will try my best to become refreshed and jog like you said, and defeat the battle just because you, someone I know a little more personally now (thanks to sharing your information) than others, has defeated the battle. We will never give up! And okay, I'll try the fresh air. Thanks for the views and spread the word if you can please. It helps to have a range of audience to talk to!
    Haha thank you again man! Have fun and have a good life, I'm glad to hear everything is working out for you. How was thanksgiving? Do you guys even celebrate in that part of the world? (I'm part vietnamese and we celebrate). Thanks alot! Bye!

  4. Hi John!

    Thanks for posting your comment on my youtube video.
    I've been living with schizophrenia now for ... oh... 23 years or so! hehe I'm 38 now and started to get symptoms when I was 15. It does take a while to get things under control. I think the key is finding the right med combos, finding ways to cope and having people support you. I'm sorry your family isn't very helpful right now. I know what you mean about feeling like you aren't as smart as you used to be. I was a straight A student in honors classes, and then I got sick and my grades went down some, but I still managed to go to an ivy league school somehow...and I did well there! Not straight A's like normal though.

    Now I'm still in school and doing better than ever though! It took a long time to figure out the right med combo for me and also for me to accept that I have schizophrenia.

    I think you might be like me a bit...with paranoid schizophrenia. There are different types anyway, and I've got the paranoid type, so I can relate to you thinking there are robbers or ghosts and whatnot. When I start to have a thought like "I wonder if the FBI is following me" I try to think about it and be like "now, why would they be following me and what are the chances of that?!?... not very high, so I can be pretty sure it is a delusion." And then I try to put it out of my head by telling myself it is just the schizophrenia. Still, it is hard to get out of my head. I'm only able to really do it, because the meds I'm on help so much.

    I take Abilify too, but I also get an injection of Haldol once per month and take Buspar and Zoloft as well. I've found that the Abilify helps with motivation, but I think I'd be lost without my Haldol.

    Anyway, just wanted to stop by. Oh about the not being able to concentrate...yah, that is a definite issue, but once you get the meds worked out better then I think you'll be better able to concentrate. Keep working on telling your doctor about your symptoms so your doc can adjust your meds until they are working better.

    Don't give up! And, remember, you haven't become dumb or anything. It is just a lot to deal with with the schizophrenia. You are doing awesome with taking meds and writing about your illness! Keep up the good work!!!

  5. Hi Kristin Bell,

    Wow! That's a long journey you ended up enduring and fighting. Congratulations to you. Hearing about this really keeps me motivated every day to defeat the disease. Right now I'm only taking abilifly yet some of my symptoms still arise. I'll definitely find better medicine combos. I see, I guess I'm not the only one who's education fell due to the disease. Yes, I have paranoid schizophrenia and possibly Bipolar or SAD (Seasonal effective disorder).

    And yes! I do the same. I tell myself of the possibilities. Thanks to the medicine I can do that, but sometimes it gets the best of me and I still fear and panic even though I understand it is not real.

    Thanks ALOT for stopping by and writing a lot. I really appreciate it. Thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to use every and all of it.

    I won't give up! Thanks for the inspiration, advice, and most importantly the talk. I'm glad again to hear you have it under control, props to you! Until next time Kristin!

  6. Hey John, haha yes I thought you didn't expect some one out of the US :] OH! Taiwan and vietnam? I've never really been there but I sure hope I would sometime.Thanks for considering my suggestions, but you should know, different things work out for different people. I think I can see how hard of a time it is, but yes, never give up. Btw, I attend an international school, because I'm really from the states, and moved to Korea. Think of it as a school in the states that is stationed in Korea :D Well, I didn't celebrate it, but some people did form our school.
    You're very welcome bro and Ill check up on this awesome site more often, and will tell my friends about this site.

    bai :]

  7. I'm going through some rough academic times right now as well. I used to be a straight-A student, but lately it's been hard to focus on my work or to even start it, for that matter. I don't think I have schizophrenia (mainly because I'm not exactly sure what the symptoms are; popular media likes to portray it as a type of insanity, but I think that's probably highly inaccurate). So far for trying to get focused I've been told by my doctor to start getting on a better sleep schedule and aim for at least 7 hours of sleep a day (used to get about 3-4 hours on average) and to take some ADHD medicine. I find that eating better also helps me stay focused. Eating a bunch of junk makes me tired and sloppy. I guess the basics you could do would be just to eat healthier, sleep better, and exercise more, if possible. Listening to music sometimes helps me, but other times it's more of a distraction. Anyway, I like the blog so far, definitely going to keep reading. Even if I might not share your affliction, I share your position. I also like your writing style. I love writing. It really does help a troubled mind to just pour everything onto a page or, such is the case, on the computer screen. Cheers.

  8. Hey Nick,

    Haha there's actually a few out of country people on my blog. But I never met anyone from Korea! Ohh I see, why did you move and where did you originally come from?

    Thanks again for everything, it really helps me out.

  9. Hey Mishogyny,

    I know how it feels. Maybe it is just senioritis? That is when you approach your last years of high school and become very lazy with it! Who knows what you might have, but make sure you figure out yourself first before a doctor diagnoses you the wrong disease and prescribes wrong medication! My doctor said the same about sleep, to sleep on certain times. I will try eating better too and I am beginning to start to jog.

    Thanks, we both share that something makes us different from everyone else that is hidden mentally, as well as makes it harder for us in our every day lives. But we fight through it, and that's the best thing we have in common. You can comment the same here and I'll be willing to read and give you suggestions, advice, or just listen to you. Thanks a lot mate!

  10. Hey John

    It's pretty chill having people from different countries on your blog, its like a diverse community that cares for each other, with compassion for you :] and others. I had to move back because my parents had to. I didn't wan't to but I'm doing good now. I lived in Phoenix, Arizona before I moved.

    Enough with me and more about you now
    How've you been bro? getting better? worse? If you need someone to talk to, like one on one on chat or something let me know. I can always make some time even though we have different world time haha xD

  11. Oh you have a fourth post :D didn't see that, Ill go check it out.

    ps its 11:20 pm here

  12. Yeah it is! I never would have thought it would have evolved like this. I thought this would be a bad try.. but it works. Oh I see, how was it in Arizona?

    I've been... okay. I haven't been to school in 4 days, and I don't really know why. Just been so lazy and unmotivated. So I guess a little worse, but my other schizophrenic symptoms like paranoia and delusions are getting better. Yeah that would be perfect! Once I get my studies and homework down I can put in time for that, is that okay? The only thing I do on the side is this blog, but aside from that I focus on my homework as I am falling behind badly. Thanks again for the read!

  13. Hey haha sorry, its been a long time since I've been here. It's finals week, and I was preparing for my exams D: And I'm real proud of you again bro for making this site. Arizona was...really hot, and dry..but it was fun. I kinda miss it still.

    When I had bipolar, I missed schools like that too..I was sleepy, lazy, unmotivated, and slept because I felt like I had nothing else to do..hope you're getting so you can get back to school John :] Its good to hear that your other schizophrenia symptoms are getting better. Haha yes I'm down for that :D You know, if you want, I can give you my facebook..its actually my secondary one..but whatever..
    I know you'll catch up with the works you're behind with and haha no problem! :]

  14. Hmmmmm......In order to understand what most of you people are talking of, especially the illness names and everything, I have to read a lot to just keep up with the conversation!

    Well, I am a student too, and I too have concentration issues, I might not be worried about Thieves and FBI, but I do day dream, about what I'm going to do after the exams and what I would be doing now, if I did not have to study for exams etc. So, well! All of us have concentration problems, and it's only a strong will to do something that can get you through( I feel).

    There's this youtube video I watched, where Oprah was talking about a 7 year old girl with schizophrenia. I was just thinking at 7, yes she is hyperactive and all that, but she seemed amazingly creative and smart. She had even invented her own language to talk with her illusionary friends! I thought that was brilliant!

    Is it that the problem lies with us so called "Normal people" who are so caught up in their "In the box" thinking, that they cannot imagine a life "out of the box"?

    I write stories, and I feel you gotta imagine way beyond the ordinary to create excitement in the reader. Did people think Tolkein was going mad when he wrote the Lord of the Rings? How could someone draw maps and create languages for an entirely different world?

    From some of the comments that I've read here, it looks like it is people with higher intelligence who might be susceptible to mental illnesses... What do you have to say about that?

    If you try, can you use your delusions to your advantage and create interesting and believable stories out of it?

  15. Nick, Sorry here too! I've been through a lot of stuff. It's finals where I am too. Thank you dude. And oh, good thing you moved then! Yeah, I feel the same. I haven't been to school in 2 days, but I have been keeping up.
    Thanks man I hope it all works out for you too!
    How did you fix your bipolar?

  16. J Sincro, wow, thanks for googling everything and reading about it just to understand us!

    I see, do you think you have any diseases or maybe just lazy? Concentration issues are very bad for me, but sometimes it would work.

    Yeah, I saw that one. It's crazy! Yet I started my schizophrenia since 15 or 16, now it's strong.

    That is very true, that's why many poets, writers, artists, were very depressed.

    Yeah, it is crazy. It is different people's personalities that also allow creative thinking, but being depressed or crazy helps too.

    I just think people with mental illnesses strive to be smart. That's what I do. I don't want to fall to this disease. But your out of the box thinking logic works too, it makes perfect sense. Maybe intelligence is connected somehow?

    And yes, I can. I can make very interesting and believable stories, especially when I have a psychotic episode.

  17. Hey have you watch a movie titled 'Beautiful Mind'? I think that movie will help you a lot to fight through those 'attacks'. Like the way of ignoring your paranoia and those feelings of having some enemies are not true. Or maybe you may try yoga and meditation to refresh your mind from some negative thoughts. Okay, I read some articles in internet, it says the best way to face these things is you have to deal with the pain if you ever being hurted by people like bullying, then try to forgive them and no take revenge.but if you really want to take revenge, just take the sweet one, I mean show 'em you can be more success than they were now. The point is just thinkin and seeing thing in a positive way, the key to make your life stay in peace :). Oyea, don't forget to pray to Him, He always has the best way and answer for us :). Keep calm and think positively hehe